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Four years ago today was the last time I heard my son’s voice.  Four years ago tomorrow he hung himself.  I can’t begin to describe the depth of my despair.  As I write, I feel it still.  It isn’t going to go away.  I’ll have this hole in my heart for the rest of my life.

This is a difficult time of year for me.  I experience what my psychologist calls “anniversary grief.”  Christmas will always be just days away from my greatest loss.  My son was 36-years old.  He will always be my baby, but I’ve come to accept the fact that he was a grown man who made a conscious, irrevocable, choice to take his life.  He was tired of living.

In Connecticut this week, for twenty babies and six adults, someone else made that decision.  Those precious souls were taken from their loved ones by a young man who had, apparently, carefully planned and prepared to commit this unspeakable act.  I literally have no words to express the deep and unrelenting anguish those families must feel.  There are no words that can adequately describe their devastation.  My heart hurts for them because I know that Christmas for them will always be just days away from their greatest loss.

I do, however, have a word for what I’ve felt from the moment I heard the news announce a mass shooting at a school in Connecticut…a grade-school in an urban community.  The word is ANGER.

“I’m mad as hell, and I won’t take it anymore!”  (That’s a direct quote from the 1976 movie “Network.”)  I am most definitely mad as hell, but the second part of that phrase–that I’m not going to take it anymore–makes me realize that there isn’t a lot that I, this blogger, can do to stop the insanity that seems to have overtaken our nation.  What I can do is post some links to statistics that are frightening.  I’ve not verified these figures and am relying on those who published them.  Even if they are only partially accurate, the figures reveal a pernicious trend in our nation that appears to be escalating.  What I can do is offer this small connection to you, my readers, and hope you will be as horrified as I am.  As mad as I am.  Because a group of informed citizens can make more noise than I can alone.

mass shootings in the US in the past 4 years – Bing

Deadly count: US averages 20 mass shootings every year — RT

Mass Shootings Are On The Rise–And 2012 Has Been Deadlier Than Ever Before | The New Republic

major-shootings.pdf (application/pdf Object) 

This last link is to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun ViolenceI neither support nor oppose this organization.  Nevertheless, I’ve included the link because their reports are verifiable.  Even if they include only crimes that support the mission of the Brady Campaign, they are still alarming.

These links are only a few of the sites that I visited yesterday.  I invite you to click on the links within these links, as I did, and follow their terrible trail.

IMHO, as so many have said before me, something must be done.

What do you think.  Let me know in your comments.